I never imagined my life would spiral into what it became. I’m Amanda, a mother of four, and for thirty long years, I battled with addiction, in and out of recovery programs. The pain of my struggles became too much to bear around my children. So, I made a gut-wrenching decision: to disappear into homelessness, hoping they wouldn’t witness my downfall.

Life on the streets was brutal. I faced constant danger, abuse, and mistreatment. Each day brought new challenges, and the nights were filled with fear and regret. My heart ached knowing I was far from my children, unable to protect them or even be there for them. The guilt gnawed at me relentlessly.

Years passed until one day, a miracle happened. In April 2022 I stepped through the doors of Ignatius House, carrying the weight of my struggles. It was my first month in recovery, a time shadowed by feelings of brokenness and shame.It was there that I was introduced to ISP. What I found at my first overnight retreat was a path to healing and an unexpected journey towards giving back. It was there that I finally released the hurt and pain that had weighed me down for so long. The experience left me craving deeper connections with others who were on a similar journey of faith and healing.

Being part of ISP has opened my eyes to the kindness and willingness of people to help. It’s shown me a community where support and encouragement are abundant, where I can grow spiritually and personally. I am grateful for this new chapter in my life and excited for the journey ahead, knowing that I am not alone in my pursuit of healing and connection.

Overnight retreats hold a sacred place in my heart. I find deep inspiration in the story of St. Ignatius and the practice of praying the Examen. In those moments, I feel profoundly loved and respected, by the retreat facilitators, other retreatants, and by God Himself.

These retreats serve as a strong foundation for my faith journey, acting as a bridge that brings me closer to God. Through reflection and prayer, I discover new depths of connection and understanding. I cherish these retreats as precious opportunities to nurture my soul and deepen my faith. They provide me with the space and guidance I need to navigate life’s challenges and to continue growing in love and faithfulness.

I have also volunteered as a witness at an ISP retreat for a new group of women. Observing the new retreatants, I saw reflections of my past self – women enveloped in a cloud of despair, their inner light dimmed. By the end of the retreat, however, I witnessed a transformation: the emergence of a newfound light and hope in their eyes.

Reflecting on my journey now, I know I can never erase the pain and mistakes of the past. But I’ve learned that resilience and love can conquer even the darkest of times. I’m working at Mary Hall, the transitional housing program that initially connected me with Ignatius House and with ISP. I now have my own apartment, a place to call home, and I’ve re-established connections with my mom and my kids.I am also dedicated to achieving a certification that will enable me to mentor and support others who have faced similar challenges and hardships as I have.

I am continually amazed at how God works in my life. For the first time in a long while, I feel genuine joy and passion. My past no longer dictates my present; instead, I am defined by the hope and transformation I’ve experienced through ISP and my newfound faith. My story now is one of overcoming, healing, and the selfless act of giving back. Despite my past challenges with sobriety, my experiences with ISP have given me a renewed sense of healing, love, gratitude, and determination.